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Archivist's note | Continued from Aum Shinrikyo discussion. |
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 15:32:12 -0500 (EST)
From: The Man in Black
Consider: convince the public (and the officials) that you do indeed have a McGuffin. Publicly announce that it will go off in Manhattan at precisely yada yada on yada yada. Then kick back and watch the fun. Let the Feds stomp all over the Constitution as the deadline approaches and the bomb still hasn't been found. Enjoy the gridlock and Blue Flu. The looting and road rage. Think Wall Street will react, maybe? Think they'll be on the job on the appointed day?
Hah, you display your ignorance of Weapons of Mass Destruction. Allow me to edumacate your Roo-Dee-Poo monkey-@$$. Anthrax hoaxes are de rigeur amongst idiots these days. I think San Diego suffered from a rash of such hoaxes in the recent past. Just last month some Jabronie anti-abortionists mailed some dirt (or dirtlike substance) to a bunch of Planned Parenthood offices (including an office building in Ala Moana Shopping Center in Honolulu, except that PP had moved out of there about a year previously).
The new tenant was not amused to read the accompanying letter claiming that Anthrax had been delivered. Local FBI SSA mentioned that the letters were postmarked from Kansas. Current Status of the case is unknown.
Aum Shin shows that even with a seven figure budget, weaponizing biological agents is very difficult. They actually dispersed some anthrax spores near an apartment complex where some Japanese Judges lived. Aum thought that the Judges would be ruling against them in some civil case or other. It failed utterly, only minor repiratory distress from a couple people were reported. I learned about this from C-Span, when they had their WMD/Biowarfare conference a couple months ago.
NOTE: the British guy was a total dork, but he did bring the Far Side cartoon.
C-Span showed Jessica Stern, the real life person who Nicole Kidman played in the Peacemaker, and a woman who figures prominently in ONE POINT SAFE, the nuclear proliferation book I can't stop shilling. Jessica is one mega babe. She can join my harem anytime, along with CNN legal cutie Greta Van Susteren, and that delicious piece of war correspondence known and loved as Christiana Amanpour. I also like Hawaii State Attorney General Marge Bronster, who's my Dad's ultimate boss. The Dad in Black works as a investigator for the Child Support Enforcement Services, after 27 years in the Air Farce (CMSGT).
That's right ladies, I got your weapon of mass destruction Right Here!
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 15:42:49 -0500 (EST)
From: The Man in Black
On Fri, 12 Mar 1999, Robert Thomas, obviously not respecting the traditions of High Villany, wrote:
Megalomanics bent on World domination? If when you have captured James Bond, revealled the secret plan, shown him the destruct button and a method of escape and then had him locked up by your 'loyal' female assistant in an Escher like contraption, Don't look surprised when everything goes wrong, he escapes and kills you in a dramatic manner.
Just hancuff him to the nearest radiator and shoot him several times in the head.
Actually, according to B-Movie: The Schlock Horror RPG (available free on the web at unclebear.com), villains are not free to do this. As they must burn off their Loneliness (by kidnapping love interests), Insecurity (by bragging about their masterplan), and other villanous statistics. If they burn all their various points, then they win. B-Movie is the game where the main stats (called flaws) are Weakness, Clumsiness, Ignorance, and some others.
This behavior is also reinforced by F.O.E. internal guidelines section 4, paragraph 18; All villains are required to gloat, taunt and otherwise belittle any heroes in their possession. Ludicrous rationales may or may not be used in these endeavors. F.O.E. Lawyers say it makes more money.
ObDG The UK Armed Forces standard weapon the Enfield IW has been discovered to be prone to jamming in extreemly hot dry conditions. What a wonderfull design still may be of use to someone on the list.
Gee, deserts cause machines to become less reliable. Who woulda thunk it?
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 23:19:25 -0500 (EST)
From: John Petherick
Just hancuff him to the nearest radiator and shoot him several times in the head.
And I now refer you to Cheapass Games, http://www.cheapass.com , the proud makers of "Before I Kill You Mr. Bond" http://www.cheapass.com/mrbond.html
A beautiful timewaster while you're waiting for the other members of the DG simulation exercise to arrive. And it may get the simulation director in a good mood … perhaps letting the agents escape at the last minute :)
From: G M
Christian Conkle wrote:
So be prepared for the "suprise" assault on your secret base (freighter, warehouse, abandoned building, basement, whatever) and when you catch him, JUST SHOOT HIM, no tying him to a real bomb or delegating your minions to do it, just get it over with.
This is also recommended as SOP for a pesky member of Her Majesty's Secret Service who always manages to pop up when it's most irratating for heads of major terrorist or criminal organizations.
Amazing, tho how one of the Top Secret spies is always known by the bad guys, uses his real name and everyone knows how he likes his drinks, yet no one's blown up his house yet.
obDG: Whenever one of you keepers create a leader you want to be a particullarly nasty bast-ahd, be sure he does *not* follow the proscribed Evil Overlord blunders…have this demonstrated on a group of frindlies or another cell.
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 16:43:07 -0500 (EST)
From: The Man in Black
an used-manga dealer's comment "We wouldn't touch them under any condition".
I'll spread the word to the Japanese Animation Society of Hawaii that we're looking for these bad-boyz (We *are* looking for these bad-boyz aren't we?) Well, I am anyway. I can't wait until they make the anime: Magical Girl Shinriko, and her pet Pokemon named AUM. Ties in nicely with my ideas for Tentacle Sex and Negaverse PC's for the Sailor Moon RPG.
And what about the following bit:
"[…] on the back page, an ad for the latest cult publication - a book claiming that all of Japan was under a form of mind-control from believing the cult had used nerve gas and that the opposite was true, that the cult was the victim, presumably of a plot by the government and the U.S. military."[MKULTRA? Shans? NRO Speedwagon? Delta Green?]
Whoever it was, I applaud them for bringing chemical weapons into Japan and putting them to good use. You know, I thought the smoke from the CBW incinerator on Johnston Atoll was kinda thin that week.
Anyway, the standard conspiracy theory goes something like: CIA nerve gassed Japan in retaliation for the Oklahoma City Bombing.
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 18:07:36 -0500 (EST)
From: The Man in Black
This is also recommended as SOP for a pesky member of Her Majesty's Secret Service who always manages to pop up when it's most irratating for heads of major terrorist or criminal organizations.
Ah yes, Mr. Bond. I often thought he would make an excellent addition to…
(ominous fanfare)
… S.P.E.C.T.R.E.
(another ominous fanfare)
obDG: Whenever one of you keepers create a leader you want to be a particullarly nasty bast-ahd, be sure he does *not* follow the proscribed Evil Overlord blunders…have this demonstrated on a group of frindlies or another cell.
WHAT! Have you no respect for TRADITION! For the excellence of craft that villains strive for in the perfection of evil! You need to attend the F.O.E. lecture series entitled "I'll get you next time!" presented by…
(yet another ominous fanfare)
… M.A.D. luminary Dr. Claw.
(FOE lecture series 006-009 available on videocassette, DVD and CD-ROM for only $55,555 in one dollar bills buried in your backyard between those two oak trees. All charges are final and non-refundable. Offer valid in 49 states, SOOORRRY Tennessee!)
Date: Mon, 15 Mar 1999 13:01:29 +0000
From: Juergen Hubert
Just trying to maximize the mayhem on a shoestring budget.
Here is another one: When the deadline has arrived, and no bomb went off, and the government claims that there never was one, you make another appearance and claim that the government has found the first bomb, but that they won't be able to find the second one. Now the government might loose some more face… Of course, you'd better have a real bomb somewhere well hidden.
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 11:49:00 -0000
From: Ward Phil
Forgotten, you have, the first F.O.E. Hall-of-Famer and three times winner of outstanding-villain-of-the-year:
[Ominous pause]
the Hooded CLAW!
"Curses, I'll get you next time Penelope Pit-stop"
…A-hem.
So, do people like individual master-minds for their cult leaders and fonts of all evil, or do we find that insidious and small prevailing evil is more effective for our simulation exercise.
The former is good for quick ready-to-eat adventures, but the latter is better for showing off the hopelessness of DG's actions in the face of the ever-approaching end-times when we will all kill and revel in depravity under the eyes of the Great Old One's.
:)
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 13:37:57 EST
From: Mark McFadden
the Hooded CLAW!
Or, for us Get Smart fans:
Craw?
No! Not Craw. C..raw. You know (makes clawing gesture) C…raw.
That's what I said, Craw.
No! Not Craw! C…raw. Craw. Craw!
Now you're saying it.
I am not! Minions?
Jawohl!
Yes!
Ja!
Da!
Si!