I Wanna Go Home Dad


A pair of Bank-Robbers, Dio and Wayne, attempt to flee police with half-million in cash. The players begin as the Police (see Statblocks).

Agents can use this list for inspiration:

  1. Officer Pete Joneson - Fresh-Faced Rookie.
  2. Officer Sara Kilroy - Ex-Military Hardass.
  3. Officer Wilson Clay - Cautious Professional.
  4. Officer Sam Quincey - Hot-Headed Fool.
  5. Officer Josie Liam - Nervous Coward.
  6. Officer Jill Mallard - Selfless Rescuer.

Pair up the Police in squad cars, a driver and a shooter. Both Police and Bank-Robbers vehicles have 30 HP and 3 Armour. At 1/2 HP, cars become inoperable. The chase goes for four rounds. If they survive a round’s obstacles, Police can try to disable the Bank-Robbers ’ car.

  1. Panicking motorists. Drive or 2D6 DMG to car and 1D3 DMG to passengers.
  2. Streak of gunfire. Opposed Drive/Firearms or 10% Lethality to car and passengers.
  3. Heavy traffic. Navigate to organise a detour or 1D10 DMG to car from rough terrain.
  4. More gunfire. Opposed Drive/Firearms or 10% Lethality to car and passengers.

If the Bank-Robbers vehicle isn’t stopped by round four, they’re struck in an intersection and careen into a shopping mall, killing several people (1/1D4 SAN to Helplessness).

Regardless of how the chase ends, the Bank-Robbers attempt to escape on foot, shooting everywhere with reckless abandon. If the Police return fire, they lose 0/1 SAN to Unnatural, as their bullets vaporise into powder upon impact, dealing little damage. The Bank-Robbers laugh mercilessly as this occurs, but every bullet seems to get a little closer (see Rituals).

Continue combat until the Police manage to wear down the Bank-Robbers, or the Police are mostly injured or dead. If the Bank-Robbers are still standing, SWAT explode onto the scene in an armoured truck and incapacitate the Bank-Robbers in a bloody firefight.

Enter Delta Green

After examining footage of the incident, Delta Green deploys the Agents to investigate. Surviving Police can be interviewed about the bizarre shootout.

Examining the crime scene finds piles of fine-powder where the Police’s bullets struck home. Science (Chemistry or Physics) knows these are by-products of copper and lead’s corrosion. The concept that such resilient materials could corrode in an instant belongs in a mediaeval alchemist’s drunken ramblings, not in reality (0/1 SAN to Unnatural).

Unless the Police got lucky shots, rammed them with a car or used electricity, Dio Marquise and Wayne Martin likely “miraculously” survived the gunfight without life threatening injuries.

If they recover from their injuries enough to talk (expedited with Medicine) the pair whine that they thought their magical tattoos would make them unstoppable. Criminology notes a similar psychological profile to the 1995 “But I Wore The Juice” robber, McArthur Wheeler.

Examining their bodies reveals both are heavily tattooed. Criminology notes several relating to criminal subcultures. Occult or History notices a fresh one with bizarre patterns that are reminiscent of mediaeval alchemy. Unnatural realises it is hypergeometry invoking the transmutational powers of Yog-Sothoth.

Either through interrogation or sifting through their personal effects, the Agents can discover that a mutual friend of the Bank-Robbers, Daniel Yoke, started hanging out with a tattoo artist who apparently bestowed magical powers. They weren’t convinced until they too got inked up, then they felt the energy coursing through them. Although, that might’ve been the PCP. They don’t remember the artist’s name or where he lived, only that he was “weird looking”.

Daniel Yoke’s Residence

A single-storey bungalow in a bad neighbourhood. People are milling around on the street, loudly voicing their complaints about a blackout to a haggard city utilities worker. Criminology or Pharmacy notices a distinct smell of badly charred weed in the air. Inside, the source of the smell and power outage is revealed. It appears David had the brilliant idea to manually wire up a substantial grow lab, as evidenced by electrically torched marijuana plants, a pile of strange powder on the ground and a pair of severed golden hands clamped to an exposed subterranean power line.

Agents with Science (Chemistry or Physics) who examine the scene realise the ash is a mound of powderised carbon and the hands are made of pure gold. Most bizarrely, they’re entirely anatomically correct, with little deviations for veins, muscle tissue and bones (0/1D4 SAN to Unnatural). If melted down, they’re worth a Major Expense each . It can be theorised that the supernatural protection of these tattoos reacts… adversely to electricity.

Parsing through David’s cell phone and computer reveals contact with a “Wurt”, implied to be the tattoo artist. They live nearby in a decrepit tenement building and financially rely upon David. In return, Wurt provides their “protective services” to the man’s various criminal contacts. HUMINT notes this relationship as exploitative, with Wurt appearing almost child-like in their mannerisms. Wurt repeatedly tells David this process hurts him (it costs POW), but is dismissed. Within the last hour, David sent over some “concerned customers” who want their tattoos “upgraded” after Dio and Wayne’s debacle. They’re probably already at Wurt’s place.

The Tenement Building

In truth, Wurt is an adolescent Spawn of Yog-Sothoth. He was dumped at an orphanage (from which he recently fled) by parties unknown as a baby, but his supernatural lineage has caused an accelerated maturation. He appears as a neurotic, skinny man in his late-20s, but is in truth barely 10-years-old. Despite being an unnatural entity, Wurt is good-natured at heart, if slightly detached from humanity. He loves artistic expression, but his tattoo designs have inadvertently channelled his genetic hypergeometry and created protective wards.

When the “concerned customers ” arrived, they demanded Wurt strengthen their tattoos. Wurt tried to warn them of the dangers, but they savagely beat him into compliance. The experimental tattoo then horribly backfired and caused an extradimensional entity, the Feaster from the Stars, to explode out of the first recipient and begin a killing frenzy. By the time the Agents arrive, the Feaster emerged mere minutes before; tenants desperately flee the gunfire of half-mad Gangsters blindly shooting everywhere in feeble attempts to kill the invisible monstrosity whilst Wurt, badly-beaten, has locked himself in his bedroom, terrified and crying.

Wurt’s apartment is on the fifth floor. Agents should roll Luck for every floor they reach. On a failure, it’s inhabited by one or more Crazed Gangsters (see Statblocks). If the Agents bypass the floor, still mark it as occupied, as this leaves Gangsters to come up behind the Agents. The Feaster moves around at the Handler’s discretion, focusing on the Gangsters over the Agents, trying to devour their tattooed flesh. Witnessing dismembered and exsanguinated Gangsters cost 0/1D4 SAN to Violence.

Unnatural knows the Feaster is a lowly-progeny of Yog-Sothoth and that invoking its progenitor can abjure it. Wurt can also reveal this. Speaking the All-In-One’s name tears the vocal cords for 1D4 DMG. However, it deals 1D20 DMG to the Feaster.

If the Feaster isn’t killed, it eventually devours all the Gangsters and then violently shunts itself out of our reality, causing the tenement building to collapse. If the Agents didn’t evacuate the tenants, this collapse kills dozens of civilians and first-responders, along with Wurt (1/1D8 SAN to Helplessness).


If he’s extracted, Wurt needs medical attention, after which he profusely thanks the Agents and tries to convince them to help him “get back home to Dad”, a process that involves expensive and restricted research chemicals (a Major Expense). He promises that he’ll use the last of his “lifeforce” to give a single Agent a warding tattoo if they help.

If the Agents do acquire the chemicals, Wurt directs them to an abandoned farm. Here, he tattoos the chosen Agent and awkwardly hugs them , before mixing the chemicals and chanting in inhuman dialects, calling out for his Father, The All-in-One, Yog-Sothoth. Watching him subsequently vanish in a bubble of extradimensional space costs 1/1D6 SAN to Unnatural. Once he departs, the tattoo hums with newfound power (see Rituals). If Delta Green is informed of Wurt, the Agents’ Case Officer hesitates. They tell the Agents that if they believe Wurt is harmless, he can be brought into the fold (HUMINT reveals they hate this idea, but they’ll refuse to explain why). Conversely, if he does pose a danger, the Agents need to “take care of him”. This choice is ultimately up to the Agents.

Attacking Wurt has to be done by surprise (Alertness/Stealth opposed roll), or he’ll panic and use Hand Of The Father before trying to flee. Killing him costs 1/1D8 SAN to Violence.

Recruiting Wurt requires the Agents to bring him to a safehouse nearby a private airstrip. After a few tense hours, a March Technologies private jet arrives and the Agents are surrounded by armed CORAL NOMAD PJs as Dr. Gregory Tapham, the Director of Research, steps off the plane. He’s all smiles, welcoming a nervous Wurt onboard as medical technicians begin examining him, promising that they’ll do “great things together”. The Agents aren’t offered a ride, instead being left on the tarmac after being told that they’re “all done here, good job”.


POLICE OFFICER - Those On The Frontline

STR 13, CON 12, DEX 10, INT 10, POW 10, CHA 10
HP 13, WP 10, SAN 50
SKILLS: Alertness 60%,  Athletics 50%, Bureaucracy 40%, Criminology 40%, Dodge 40%, Drive 50%, Firearms 40%, First Aid 30%, HUMINT 50%, Law 30%, Melee Weapons 50%, Navigate 40%, Persuade 40%, Search 40%, Unarmed Combat 60%
ARMOUR: Reinforced Kevlar Vest (4 Armour)
ATTACKS: Light Carbine (40% or 60%, 1D12, 3 AP)
Medium Pistol (40%, 1D10)
TASER (50%, CONx5 or Stun, -20% for 1D20 Turns)
Pepper Spray (50%, Two Targets, CONx5 or Stun, -20% for 1 Hour)
Telescoping Baton (50%, 1D6 + 1)
Unarmed Combat (60%, 1D4)
HOLOGRAPHIC SIGHT: Police Officers have sights on their light carbines, which gives them a +20% bonus to hit so long as they haven’t taken any damage since their last action.
FIRST AID KIT: Police Officers have a single first aid kit in their car’s trunks, which provides a +20% bonus on up to three First Aid rolls before they need to get a new one.

THE BANK-ROBBERS - Dio and Wayne
STR 13, CON 12, DEX 11, INT 8, POW 7 (Used To Be 10), CHA 5
HP 13, WP 4, SAN 40, Addiction (Being Fucking Invincible), Adapted to Violence
SKILLS: Alertness 50%, Athletics 50%, Criminology 40%, Dodge 50%, Drive 50%, Firearms 40%, Melee Combat 40%, Unarmed Combat 50%.
ARMOUR: Heavy Kevlar (5 Armour) plus Ward (10 Armour) = 15 Armour.
Tracker For Dio = [ 10 ] Ward Armour Remaining. [ 13 ] HP Remaining.
Tracker For Wayne = [ 10 ] Ward Armour Remaining. [ 13 ] HP Remaining.
ATTACKS: Illegal Assault Rifle (40%, 1D12, 3 AP or 10% Lethality)
Medium Pistol (40%, 1D10)
Unarmed Combat (50%, 1D4)
WARD: The Bank-Robbers have an unnatural Ritual that grants them an extra 10 Armour. They’ve spent most of their WP and three permanent points of POW abusing this Ritual so far. Everytime the Bank-Robbers take damage, whether or not it causes actual HP loss, this Armour is reduced by 1 point. So long as they have 1 point of this Armour remaining, successful Lethality rolls don’t kill them, instead inflicting DMG equal to the Lethality rating. However, if damaged by electricity, they suffer 20% Lethality (ignores armour).
SAN LOSS: 0/1 to see the WARD in action.

CRAZED GANGSTERS - Violent Maniacs
STR 10, CON 10, DEX 10, INT 8, POW 8 (Used To Be 10), CHA 8
HP 10, WP 6, SAN 30, Addiction (Being Fucking Invincible), Paranoia
SKILLS: Alertness 40%, Athletics 40%, Criminology 40%, Dodge 40%, Firearms 30%, Melee Weapons 40%, Unarmed Combat 50%.
ARMOUR: Ward (6 Armour), see THE BANK-ROBBERS for the mechanics.
EXAMPLE ATTACKS: Each Gangster gets one, plus Unarmed Combat.
Submachine Gun (30%, 1D10 or 10% Lethality)
Sawn-Off Shotgun (50%, 2D8 or 3D8, 1/2 AP)
Heavy Revolver (30%, 1D12)
Medium Pistol (30%, 1D10)
Fire Axe (40%, 1D10)
Baseball Bat (40%, 1D8)
Big Knife (40%, 1D6, 3 AP)
Brass Knuckles (50%, 1D4)
Unarmed Combat (50%, 1D4 - 1)
TEMPORARILY INSANE: When the Agents meet the Crazed Gangsters, they’re all experiencing the “Struggle” Temporary Insanity. They blindly attack the Agents, civilians, the Feaster and each other. If their target is unclear, make a Luck roll, with them deciding to attack the Agents on a failure.

WURT - Just Wants To Go Home
STR 18, CON 17, DEX 10, INT 14, POW 4 (Used To Be 18), CHA 7
HP 11 (Used To Be 18), WP 4
SKILLS: Alertness 60%, Art (Tattoo) 90%, Athletics 40%, Dodge 50%, Unnatural 20%.
HAND OF THE FATHER: If Wurt fears for his life (i.e. the Agents decide to murder him in cold blood) he panics and expels a massive wave of hypergeometric force. An Agent is immediately thrown backwards for 2D6 DMG (ignores armour). Agents can only attempt to Dodge if they succeed an Unnatural roll or if they’ve seen Wurt use this ability before. This also costs 1 POW to use, so Wurt’s extremely reluctant to employ it, as he dies at 0 POW.
UNNATURAL LINEAGE: Wurt is not wholly human, and his biology would baffle the world’s most experienced medical professionals. Whether he is affected by mundane poisons, pharmaceuticals or diseases is up to a Luck roll.
SAN LOSS: 0/1 on visual inspection. 1/1D4 if his clothes are forcefully removed, revealing contorted, cloven feet and nascent pseudopod-like growths protruding from his abdomen.

FEASTER FROM THE STARS - Extra-Dimensional Predator
STR 17, CON 29, DEX 12, INT 8, POW 15
HP 23, WP 15
ARMOUR: Slippery, Invisible Skin (1 Armour)
SKILLS: Flight 30%, Stealth 80%
ATTACKS: Exsanguination (40%, see EXSANGUINATION)
Limb Flail (60%, 1D12, see LIMB FLAIL).
EXSANGUINATION: The Feaster latches onto a target with dozens of invisible, motile mouths and begins draining their vital fluids. The victim loses 1 HP on the first round, 2 HP on the second, 3 HP the third, and so on until they die. Any HP lost in this way heals the Feaster for the same amount. The victim can spend its turn on an opposed STRx5 roll, suffering 1D4 DMG from tearing flesh if they struggle free. Additionally, the Feaster gleefully uses its victim as a human shield as it devours them, forcing any attacker to make a -20% Called Shot to hit it, with any failures striking the victim instead.
LIMB FLAIL: The Feaster lashes out with a dozen invisible tentacles with the strength of a high-tension steel cable snapping, targeting up to two nearby creatures for 1D12 DMG. Any creature struck must also roll STRx5 or be knocked prone.
PARTIALLY INVISIBLE: The Feaster is composed of matter from another dimension and visible wavelengths of light readily pass through it. All attempts to attack or perceive it are at a -20% penalty. This penalty is lifted if the Feaster is exsanguinating someone. Additionally, the Feaster’s attacks cannot be opposed with Melee Weapons or Unarmed Combat, only Dodged.
THE NAME OF THE FATHER: Pronouncing Yog-Sothoth’s name in the Feaster’s presence deals 1D20 DMG to it, at the cost of 1D4 HP due to torn vocal cords.
TUMBLING FLIGHT: The Feaster normally moves around at an erratic, but slow pace by pulling itself around via invisible tentacles. However, with a successful Flight roll, it can briefly fly at immense speeds, as if carried upon some invisible aether.
UNNATURAL BIOLOGY: The Feaster’s physiology would baffle any biologist. Making a Called Shot for “vitals” or another apparently vulnerable area does nothing.
SAN LOSS: 1/1D6 to see it and an additional 1/1D8 if you start getting exsanguinated.


The All-Father’s Transmutation (Exaltation Of The Flesh Variant)

With a minute’s concentration upon their hypergeometric tattoo, the surrounding flesh grows hot as an addictive, tingly warmth pervades the operator’s body. The operator loses 1D4 SAN as bizarre and frightening visions of Yog-Sothoth’s realm pervade their mind during the casting. They then chose how much WP to spend on the Ritual from the following options:

  • 8 WP = 4 Armour
  • 10 WP = 5 Armour
  • 12 WP = 6 Armour
  • 16 WP = 8 Armour
  • 20 WP = 10 Armour

Recall that spending 1 POW counts as 10 WP when fuelling Rituals (Handler’s Guide, Page 168).

Every time the operator takes damage, whether or not it causes actual HP loss, the Armour is reduced by 1 point. So long as they have 1 point of this Armour remaining, all successful Lethality rolls won’t kill the operator, instead inflicting DMG equal to the Lethality rating.

Witnessing the effects of the Ritual costs 0/1 SAN to Unnatural.

This Ritual only affects inorganics, such as metal, glass or stone, as it rapidly transmutes objects into piles of corroded powder. It works passably against massive impacts, such as being struck by a car, but this will still fling the operator backwards and knock them prone. It does not work against organic substances, like fists, teeth or even wooden weapons, like baseball bats. It also has no effect against fire, poison, freezing cold or hypergeometry. If an active ward (i.e. one actively providing Armour) is exposed to an electric shock, the Ritual horribly backfires and inflicts a 20% Lethality attack on the operator. This transmutes the impacted area into an anatomically-accurate chunk of gold, whereas the surrounding tissue is converted into carbon dust. This costs the operator 1/1D8 SAN to Unnatural and witnesses 0/1D6 SAN.

At the Handler’s discretion this Ritual may also have other drawbacks, such as making the operator a far more enticing target for hungry extradimensional entities.


I Wanna Go Home Dad was written by Dragoleaf for the 2023 Shotgun Scenario contest.
Source: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QMJ4Qjk01lxPdsA3z5t7kY0SQn24Cxw6alK8Bjin8GE/edit

The intellectual property known as Delta Green is ™ and © the Delta Green Partnership. The contents of this document are © their respective authors, excepting those elements that are components of the Delta Green intellectual property.