My Big Fat Deep One Wedding


Agent BRASI, rogue Case Officer, has brokered an alliance with a Deep One clan through an arranged marriage. One of the Agents is the betrothed, sold to the fish in a phony undercover operation.


Play begins aboard a Sikorsky Super Stallion, carrying an enormous crate that sloshes and leaks salt water. Agents were briefed beforehand:

Case Officer BRASI explained you’d be going undercover to infiltrate the Brotherhood of the Ocean. One of you would pose as a prospective member, the rest bodyguards and sycophants. The objective is to be initiated into the cult, if possible, but also to gather intelligence. The event’s a black tie affair. You’re allowed to carry weapons. Everyone there will be armed.


An abandoned resort. Canals snake through the gardens. Marble staircases descend to beaches and mangrove swamps. Boats float at the dock. Humanoid figures lope, leap and swim. Rows of chairs face a podium and statue. Something huge moves in the canals.

The taciturn USN pilot promises extraction the following morning.


Stocky, wide faced humanoids greet the Agents exiting the helicopter. They are friendly, well dressed, and well armed. They pay the “prospective member” special attention. There are photographers, horderves, family members, decorations. The Agents will quickly realize it’s a wedding.

(If they want to leave, the Deep Ones won’t let the betrothed Agent go. They will have to be rescued or abandoned. There are hundreds of fish, fighting them is obviously suicide without a clever plan. They can try to sneak off the island. Cell reception is nonexistent)


The clan is led by two gigantic Deep Ones. Like whales, they’re too large to leave the water. They are intelligent but do not speak human languages well.

JUTURNA AND ABAIA - Mated pair of ancient Deep Ones
STR 26, CON 26, DEX 11, INT 16, POW 14
HP 26, WP 14.
ARMOR: 3 points of bony scales (see RESILIENT).
SKILLS: Alertness 30%, Athletics 70%, Foreign Language (English 20%), Swim 99%, Unnatural 80%.
ATTACKS: Talons or sharp spines 55%, damage 2D6, Armor Piercing 5.
Lunge and bite 35%, Lethality 10%, Armor Piercing 5.
Grasp 55%, damage as for grappling.
INHUMAN MOVEMENT: The gigantic Deep One can move up to 30 kph on land, or 60 kph in the water.
RESILIENT: A successful Lethality roll does not destroy this Deep One, but inflicts HP damage equal to the Lethality rating.
UNNATURAL BIOLOGY: The Deep One’s physiology would baffle any biologist. Making a called shot for “vitals” or another apparently vulnerable area inflicts normal damage, with no special game effect.
RITUALS: Fascinate (Juturna can lead a siren song to stun everyone in earshot), Storm and Stillness (Abaia can lead a chant that summons dangerous weather, which he can control)
SAN LOSS: 1/1D8.

The betrothed Agent is picked up in an enormous claw, so the colossal fish can inspect their pending son or daughter-in-law. They might briefly touch the Agent with their tongue or other fishy sense organs.


  • Juturna and Abaia brought their extended family to the wedding, about 200 guests. Their clan includes “schools” from around the world:
  • School Beebe - Deep Sea Ones with bioluminescent sense organs and diminutive parasitic males
  • School Farblondjet - Yiddish speaking descendents of Karotechia offerings
  • School Hanga - Streamlined predators with sunny dispositions and shark toothed grins
  • School Khorrus - Alaskans with crablike features and voracious appetites

Some appear human. Others inhuman. Most are armed, with everything from firearms to tridents. Many of the women are pregnant or nursing. There are many children.

The fish are friendly but weird. A cast of crab people tear a squalling seal pup to shreds and devour it. A dwarfish anglerfish-man fingerblasts his wife while sucking blood from her neck. Whitefish in kippah and tichel eat “caviar” out of a gravid woman who lounges unconcerned on a table, the delicacy rendered kosher by her scaly skin. Nobody seems bothered except the Agents - a source of amusement for the Deep Ones.

BRASI can be found, schmoozing and drinking. If cornered he’ll explain his plan: to enlist the Deep Ones’ aid in DG’s war against the Unnatural. If Agents threaten to walk out, he’ll warn that they aren’t getting off the island until after the marriage. It’s just a formality, afterwards they can go back to their lives. He’ll accept angry yelling and a punch or two.

AGENT BRASI - Colonel Valentine Robard, Office of Naval Intelligence
STR 9, CON 12, DEX 11, INT 13, POW 10, CHA 16
HP 11, WP 10, SAN 25, Obsession: Deep Ones, Impulse Control Disorder
Skills: Anthropology 40%, Bureaucracy 50%, Computer Science 40%, Criminology 40%, Firearms 40%, Foreign Languages (Deep Speech 20%, Tlingit 40%, Various Polynesian Languages 40%, Yiddish 40%), History 40%, HUMINT 50%, Military Science: Sea 50%, Persuade 60%, Pilot: Boat 50%, Science: Marine Biology 40%, SIGINT 40%, Unnatural 5%
Armor: 3 points kevlar vest
Attacks: “Fitzed” airweight .357 (40%, D12, dangerous and impractical)
Coral knife (30%, D6, 3 AP, ignores supernatural damage resistance)

If Agents seriously threaten BRASI, a seven foot shark-woman wrapped in a lavalava (who Agents might have noticed eying him across the tiki bar) steps forward to act as his champion in a formal duel. (Use the stats for the betrothed, with 50% Firearms if an Agent chooses guns).


The Deep Ones’ offering for the marriage is of the sex opposite the Agent. The clan is putting its best foot forward with a mate that, while obviously fishy, at least has an appealing form factor.

STR 17, CON 15, DEX 12, INT 13, POW 12, CHA 13
HP 16, WP 12
ARMOR: 1 point
SKILLS: Alertness 40%, Art (Dance 40%, Undersea Gardening 40%), Athletics 50%, HUMINT 50%, Navigate 50%, Persuade 50%, Pilot (Boat 40%, Helicopter 40%), Science (Marine Biology 40%, Meteorology 20%, Oceanography 20%) Survival 50%, Swim 75%, Unnatural 15%.
ATTACKS: Knife-like talons 55%, damage 1D8, Armor Piercing 3.
Grapple 55%, pins the target.
INHUMAN MOVEMENT: The Deep One can leap, climb, and lope in a wholly inhuman manner. With an Athletics test, it can cover heights and obstacles that would stop a normal human. The Deep One can move up to 25 kph on land, and 30 kph in the water.

The betrothed Deep One is unhappy with the match. Their life on land was miserable, and improved when they moved beneath the sea. Marrying a human chains them to a world they have no interest in.


Before the ceremony, friends and family bring out gifts for the newlyweds.

The Deep Ones unbox BRASI’s gift: A large granite sculpture of a woman’s face, wide and grimacing. Seawater flows from the statue’s eyes, absent tear ducts or any other origin for the fluid. The fish are impressed.

The Deep Ones give:

  • A fishbone harp. When strummed, produces powerful drowsiness and dreams of the deep.
  • Beautiful pearls. Eating one restores D4 WP, but costs the same in HP. Dissolving in vinegar before eating negates the damage.
  • Coral larvae. If left on a hard surface they bud into beautiful, fast growing reefs, full of toxins and hallucinogens.


The betrothed Agent is pulled away by an excited group of Deep Ones. A female Agent receives a jellyfish gown, which tingles when worn. A male gets a sharkskin tuxedo of real sharkskin. They are weighted with jewelry of white gold.

The fish explain the racier part of marriage. When it’s appropriate to touch their partner’s gills. The special sense organs in a Deep One’s mouth. How to fuck underwater. All with winks and elbows to the ribs.


The band wails. Leslie Endless-Blue-Wine leads the marriage rite before a statue of Tulu. An Agent can act as best man/maid of honor.

Sunken Bells
Elaborate Ritual.
Deep One weddings are not religious affairs. Marriage is for cementing alliances and acquiring promising genes. The wedding vows reflect this: the bride and groom will not kill one another, and will produce children. But, the words have power beyond their prosaic meaning. Over the course of the ceremony, at cost of 1 POW, D4 SAN, and D4 from one of their existing Bonds, the Agent gains 1% Unnatural and a Bond at half CHA with their new spouse. The Deep One partner receives the same.

(There is no vow or rule against infidelity. Products of extramarital unions are simply eaten or sacrificed in rituals)

In times past, newlyweds would consummate the marriage before the assembled family. Prudishness among younger generations has curbed this practice.


The bounty of the ocean is on the menu. The open bar serves earthly liquors and potent Deep One concoctions. The newlywed Agent gets the Elixir of Infinite Space with their meal, granting temporary water breathing. Their new inlaws may grant them a boon of choice. BRASI gets drunk and leaves with one of the Farblondjet cousins, whose fishy barbells dangle like sidelocks. An Agent is called on to make a speech in his stead.

The newlyweds are hustled to their conjugal suite - before either grows too intoxicated to function. The suite is lavish. The Deep One puts on a brave face but is as nervous as the Agent. Unless the Agent takes the lead, the fish stalls, asking questions and making conversation.


The Agents get just enough bars for a text on their burners, from BRASI.




The Director has discovered the wedding. DG is on its way to crash it. BRASI’S warning comes minutes before they arrive.

A hastily assembled fleet of Navy helicopters streaks toward the island. Abaia conjures a storm to smash the choppers, Juturna sings a siren song to Fascinate the pilots. Their children prepare for war. Lightning, wind, rain and song cause crashes, but can’t stop all the aircraft. Kill teams rope down from the helicopters, which spray beaten zones using heavy weapons. The fish fight or flee underwater.

STR 12, CON 12, DEX 12, INT 12, POW 12, CHA 12
HP 12, WP 12, SAN 55, Adapted to Violence
SKILLS: Alertness 60%, Athletics 60%, Demolitions 40%, Firearms 60%, Heavy Weapons 50%, Melee Weapons 50%, Military Science (Land) 60%, Navigate 50%, Stealth 50%, Survival 50%, Swim 50%, Unarmed Combat 60%
ATTACKS: 6 points tactical body armor and helmet
ATTACKS: M4 (60%, D12 or 10% lethality, 3 AP)
Or MK14 (60%, D12+2, 5 AP)
Or M249 SAW (50%, 15% lethality, 3 AP)
Or M60E3 (50%, 15% lethality, 5 AP)
Or M203 (70%, 15% lethality, 10m kill radius)
M9 (60%, D10)
Frag Grenade (80%, 15% lethality, 10m kill radius)

10 Armor, 30 HP
Cannon and Rockets (70%, 30% lethality, 5 AP)
Minigun (50%, 20% lethality, 5 AP)
Machine Guns (50%, 15% lethality, 5 AP)


The Deep Ones suspect the Agents of treachery. The kill team assumes the Agents are Deep Ones. Escaping requires subterfuge, misdirection, persuasion, or violence. A straight fight is suicide, but confusion could create an opening. It’s difficult to convince the kill team the Agents are human - though easier if they saw Agents fighting Deep Ones. Alternatively, the Agents might convince the Deep Ones to help them. There’s also leftover Elixir in the kitchen, enabling an underwater escape.

The newlywed Agent is in the most danger. Inlaws pound the door of the honeymoon suite, intending to kill the treacherous surface dweller who played with their child/sibling’s heart. The fish spouse yells at them to leave, and when that doesn’t work, hurriedly instructs the Agent how to save themself: once the union is consummated, ancient law forbids the family from slaying them. The Agent can have awkward fish sex, fight the inlaws, or find a creative way to escape.

Getting off the island is possible by boat. Agents with Pilot: Boat, can make a check to escape without being chased by a helicopter. Otherwise, a Program helo trains its guns on them, shouting from its megaphones to cut the motor and toss their weapons. If the Agents comply, they’re hauled aboard.


DG kills or drives off the Deep Ones. BRASI is nowhere to be found.

If the Agents were caught, it’s up to them to prove that they were duped into helping BRASI. If they escaped without being caught, they get off scot free. Probably.

The newlywed Agent gets a visit from their fish spouse. There’s a slim possibility they ask the Agent to try and make the marriage work. Otherwise, they attack. When they or the Agent take even a single HP of damage, they flee. The “attempted murder” dissolves the union.


This is an entry to the 2018 Delta Green shotgun scenario contest, written by mellonbread.

The intellectual property known as Delta Green is ™ and © the Delta Green Partnership. The contents of this document are © their respective authors, excepting those elements that are components of the Delta Green intellectual property.